True listening is rare. In our normal communication - we start with the premise that we are right. hence we are just listening and ready to jump on the speaker and show him/her that he/she is wrong. In order to do this we have the ammunition of our past : memories, experiences, stories, quotes, what mummy and daddy told me, what my fifth grade teacher told me, what the prient told me. We consider this to be proof that WE ARE RIGHT. All of our knowledge is just an accumlation of other people's knowledge. They have told us and we believed. Then we BUILT on that knowledge - but our building assumed that the foundation was correct. We never question the foundation knowledge - which was given to us.
An example to clarify. I was brought up in a Radha Soami environment. As a 7 year old I remember going to the local satsangs, which back then were all taped satsangs of Charan Singh. I became interested in Radha Soami. I REALLY believed without any question that Charan Singh WAS GOD. Not even the slightest doubt existed in my mind. I remember in 1972 when Charan Singh came to england. I had bought a telescope especially for the large satsang event. I said to my sister "Take a look - that is God in human form - the closest you get to the real God up there in heaven." So now I knew what God really looked like - He had a beard and turban - just like his human form which was just a replica of the real form. When I was 12 - I had to have some dental work on my front teeth. I looked at them in the mirror and they were no longer perfect teeth. I was sad because it meant I could never be a perfect master because I did not have perfect teeth! This is how children believe - literally.
So I never questioned this foundation - I ASSUMED that vegetrainism is the PROPER way to live. People who eat meat are BAD people - that was just so obvious to me. That was MY TRUTH and unquestionable. In the same way - the ONLY way to GOD was through the living master. I did not consider this to be my belief - I KNEW. So all my KNOWLEDGE after this point in my life was BASED on and built upon my existing knowledge. I would never question my assumptions which I assumed to be absolutely true. What this means is that anything I hear from anyone would get 'filtered' by me. The process would be like this. "Does this fit in with what I KNOW to be true (my existing knowledge)?" If so, I allow the new knowledge in - if not - I reject it.
What this means in REAL TERMS is that I ONLY ALLOW IN WHAT RESONATES WITH MY MIND. I will never allow in anything that contradicts my existing beliefs. If anyone says anything like that - for example that there is nothing wrong in eating meat or drinking alcohol, I will assume the person is a total idiot and just does not know the truth. The poor bastard is deluded and I feel pity for him.
We ALWAYS assume that what we know is the truth. When in fact it is all GIVEN to us - it is BORROWED - it is not knowledge at all - it is beliefs. This can be about the world - or it can be about ourselves. We can conclude that we are shy, stupid, intelligent, clever, just because of what others have constantly told us when we were children. This becomes our knowledge - it creates our personality - it makes us who we now identify with as ME. We can never go againt what we think we know. It is ingrained in us and we assume it is true.
In fact - it is not true at all. It is pure fiction. "It is not what you don't know - it is what you KNOW that just wain't SO..." You KNOW - yet it is not true. It is a BELIEF - and it is not even correct - and you take it to be TRUE. And you have SELECTIVE LISTENING. You LISTEN ONLY to that which AGREES with your existing foundation knowledge. This is not true listening at all. You are only out to prove that YOU ARE RIGHT ONCE AGAIN. You are always right.
I saw a joke on a card when I was in Las Vegas about this. It said: "I am RIGHT. I am ALWAYS right. I have always been right. There was this ONE TIME when I THOUGHT I was wrong - but I was MISTAKEN."
TRUE LISTENING means to listen without the premise that you are right. Allow in a new viewpoint that conflicts with your existing knowledge. This means that you are NOT RIGHT. You have to drop your attachement to BEING RIGHT. This is not easy because according to you - YOU ARE RIGHT WITHOUT QUESTION. How can you possible drop this? All your life experiences PROVE that you are right.
Hmmm... do they really? Or do you DELETE and DISTORT every incoming experience to MAKE SURE IT MATCHES - hence always proving that you are right. If something does not fit - simply ignore it. This is how we function as human beings. We are brain-washed as children and never escape from that brain-washing. We might be afraid that some new cult might brain-wash us - but actually we are already brain-washed. It might not be such a bad idea to get the brain washed fully just once!
TRUE LISENING is listening without the mind. You drop the attachment to be right. This is called being OPEN. It is recognising that you are not RIGHT. You do not KNOW anything - mostly you have beliefs masquerading as the truth.
When you listen truly - to someone who has entered into the beyond (dropped the mind) - you can enter too.
Watch these two videos of Osho for a better idea of what I am saying. Osho explains what the Buddha is always mis-understood. part 1 and part 2 - see below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nSMi0whFEA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKOI_N-nvzM
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